the only stop I'm makin' tonight is at Charlie's and since I just did that I'm gonna make a short post here...today was one of those days when I should have stayed in bed...not gonna go into it right now but it has me in a state ...life is a long hard row to hoe...never gets easier and it never lets up....I'm tired...tired of the struggle for just everyday life...there is no escape...there is no rest....if pressure is what turns coal into diamonds I should shine like the evein' star.....I got a bottle tonight..first one in awhile...but I am going to make my way to the bottom of it just as fast as I can and then I hope sleep over-takes me and I sleep a dreamless sleep...maybe a good nights rest is in order...I went stone blind mad today...have not done that in over twenty years and today was the day....it doesn't make me feel any better...but then ...maybe it does...like a pressure cooker left to long on a high heat....I can't say nothin' at Midnights cause my kids read it and I don't think they bother back here...my girls are gonna have a cat...my boys would be worse....so this is just between you, me and the gate post....I have some pictures of the ice storm and what it did to our little town...I'll post them later...right now I am tryin' to get this worked out in my mind so I can get by it...take the bull by the horns...what ever you want to call it...all I know is shit gets deep and I've not got wadders....feel like foldin up and callin it a life....been a hard son of a bitch...I mean hard like depression hard and I'm tired of actin' like its all just hunky fuckin' dory when everything I touch turns to shit...I hate weak women that bitch ...and here I stand...wailin' to the top of my lungs.....turn on the news and get a whole new out look on my life...no...I could have it a hell of alot worse...later...if I'm able to sit here I will tell you what it is...maybe it will even seem silly to me and I can delete this post...but somehow I think its just another rock in the road and my roads have all been rocky and my feet are tired...I wanna break...I don't ask for much...just some peace but it is like a shadow..fleeting at best....I've had to pick shit with the chickens to survive and now I wonder if I care to survive any longer...I have two reasons to keep puttin one foot in front of the other and they are on my blog at Midnights...and if it wasn't for them I would cash in my chips and call it a game...but I wonder what would happen to them....so I keep pluggin'...but tonight it has almost got the best of me...tonight I'm about done in...