It's gettin' late and the traffic has thinned down...hope this slids on through....I have a window open to Midnight's and I'm sittin here listenin to the flute music...I find it calming and right now I am trying to balance...those of you who prowl the halls at night know I have a hard time with balance...there is a flip side to everything...front and a back...positive and a negititve...black/white...you get my drift...I think it helps to be here...but then...my great "despair" is because of this place...now see...that just crossed my mind...we may be onto something kids...sift the dirt from the sand.....long tedious job....when I hear the Indain flute music it takes me to the mouth of a cave...I can see me...sitting there...watching the rain...the leaves are green and wet..like espring...I can see over my shoulder the player of the flute...sail my ship alone...moon muligan....I don't have to make sense here...this is my blog
...I am writing my thoughts as they come and see what comes...it doesn't matter if it makes sense or not...if I had to describe me...I would say I was born with a "longing" spirit...I've said before that it is ingrained in me...something in the great unknown is calling me and I long for it...I look for it in the face of men..but I can't find it...I hold my heart out in both hands...but it finds no place among men...so my spirit grieves...always to one degree or another...sometimes like now it feels like a weight on me...tears run down like water and there is no relief...and then ...like the tide...it will pull back and I get relief for a while...so what I'm trying to do is sort it out...see what triggers it...see if has a set date pattern,etc,etc...and if I can see something in it...then I can change it...I will get off the emotional roller coaster and refuse to ride again....
